Friday, November 20, 2009
I am going back on December 2nd for a sonogram which will verify that there is only one kid in there. Hopefully, we will also get to see if we will be having a boy or a girl. I have two girls that I gave birth to already and he has a little boy of his own. So far, I have gotten two votes for a boy and no votes for a girl from friends. They are telling me that I have to have at least one boy. Any thoughts from you, my fair readers?
That's all for today.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Why am I posting this? I am scared for her, not going to lie at all. Therefore, i am asking all of you, Please, Please, keep her in your thoughts, send good thoughts, vibes, prayers, or whatever her way. I could really use some help staying positive for her as well as helping her stay positive.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
I have started a new job, still in tech support. In training now for the next 5 weeks. It is not too bad though. Part time, so I am only in a classroom for 4 hours a day. I am still involved with the Envisage 2009 project. It is a lot of fun and I find myself taking some weird pictures of random objects that make up my day every day. The hardest part is remembering to take a picture every day, LOL.
Anywhoo, that is all for now.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
While I never actually helped paint his house, I do remember the housewarming party and getting to chill with him, his wife, and a bunch of the guys from work. It was a lot of fun and one of the best times that I had this past year.
I hope that wherever his is, he is at peace and able to breathe freely.
RIP Will Beeks, you are loved and missed.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
I just want to say that I think it is awesome to have a place to voice my thoughts and think that other people read them. So to my readers, I say thanks! Now with that off my chest, on to other things.
My mother found out that I am pregnant. I had not planned on telling her yet but she friended me on Facebook and I had mentioned it on there and she found out. Fortunately, she is not mad at me for it. I had honestly planned on telling her in about a month or so, so I think she forgave me.
I have been busy with the photography project at Envisage 2009. I am loving this project and will admit to a certain degree of egotism knowing that other people are out there checking out my pictures and getting a glimpse into the wonderful world of SororRavn!
In the world of kids, my daughters have been doing a fundraiser for school and I gotta hand it to my friends, they really came through for them! Between the two of them, we have sold almost 20 items, not counting on what I intend to purchase.
This week saw me getting my Halloween decorations up. It is amazing what you can get at the Dollar Tree. I spent about $10 - $15 on the decorations and it is looks amazing, if I do say so myself. ^_^
Speaking of the holidays, I am making plans now for a trip back to Texas for the holidays. I am really hoping that i will be able to make it since this will be the first major holiday that the girls have been back home!
Signing off now,
Thursday, September 10, 2009
I also got involved with a photography project. It is a year of life, in pictures. It is actually pretty cool. You can find it at Envisage 2009. If you are interested, you can find my pictures under the tag Soror Ravn ^_^
School is going well for the kids. Lilith and Isis are both liking it well. As I said, Lilith was elected for student council and is playing the violin in the orchestra. Isis is not quite old enough yet to be involved with those things but she is doing just as well.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
I also rented Lilith a violin this week so that she can start orchestra. Today was her first day. Now I have to get her the books that she needs for class.
The big news this week though is that my daughter, Lilith, was elected to her school's student council! Last week, she went around and collected signatures from her teachers, classmates, and friends, as well as my own. She and I also worked on a speech together that came out really well, IMHO. I got home from work today and the big news is that she got elected! She had to get up today in front of her class to give the speech on why she is the best lady for the job.
That is all for now. Hope you have a great weekend!
Sunday, August 30, 2009
I am also an atheist and proud of that fact. I am NOT an agnostic as most people would like to label me. I do not feel the need for a higher power because I am my own higher power.
Now that you have a little background on me, let me get into what inspired this post today.
Yesterday, at work, I was talking to some of my co-workers and we were discussing the news. Somehow, the topic of drugs came up. Now, when I was using, my drug of choice was methamphetamine. I had read an article a couple of days ago that mentioned a new method of making meth had been discovered that required no fire and has been dubbed the "shaker method." I mentioned this to the people that I was talking to and one of my supervisors made the comment that I know a lot about this stuff. Never being one to shy away from my past, I responded that I had used for years and that it was only natural that I know this stuff.
No biggie, right? Not at all. This did not phase me one bit.
We got started talking about 12 step programs. He asked me if I was involved in any and I told him, no. Asked why, I then told him that I do not believe in a higher power and will not involve myself with an organization that requires submission to one. This guy, seriously would not take the answer that I am on atheist at all. he INSISTED that I was agnostic. He then asked me if I "believed in Wiccan?" I told him that I was Wiccan many years ago but was now an atheist. His response? "Well, there ya go, believe in Wiccan!" honestly, can you get any more hard headed.
The part that pissed me off the most was this though: this man actually had the NERVE to tell me that because I did not and refuse to go through a 12 step program, that I will FAIL. I will have him and everyone know that I am too strong and have come too fucking far on this journey to fail at this point. I refuse to submit to a "higher power" and admit that I am powerless when it comes to this drug. All this, I am powerless bullshit is just that, BULLSHIT! I am a human being with a brain and the will power to say no to this drug.
OK - thanks for listening folks, I feel better now
Friday, August 28, 2009
"We believe that homosexuality is a sin and an abomination which God punishes with the death penalty."
Friday, August 21, 2009
Honestly, if you get the chance, watch this movie. If you have kiddos, watch it with them. It is a really cute movie and a neat concept. Basically it is about this guy, his niece and nephew, and the stories that they tell at bedtime. The stories end up coming true in some respect and it is an interesting concept to think about. In my opinion, it is a form of positive visualization that could work well if properly applied. (Not to get TOO new agey on you guys, LOL)
Anyways, that is all for tonight. Hope you all have an awesome weekend!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
I always thought that blushing was a way to show some form of excitement. Why else would women spend so much money on rouge every year? As a species, blood rushes to the surface of our skin when we are sexually aroused so what is to say that it will not do the same when we are excited in other ways as well?
In my opinion, laughter is meant as a form of defense (ie nervous or embarrassed laughter) or a form of bonding, such as laughing together over an inside joke.
My thought on this one is that the teenaged years were a time for the child to individuate from the parent and thus offer a greater chance for survival.
In my opinion, dreams are a time for us to allow the subconscious mind offer assistance to solving issues that the conscious mind is having trouble with. They also seem to be a way for us to relive the days events and put them in perspective.
Personally, I do not think that there are any true altruists. Even if you are doing something because it is good to do, you are still getting a sense of "do-gooding" out of it.
OK - sometimes, this one escapes even me. There is quite a bit out there that is considered "art" that I personally this is nothing but utter crap.
Superstition is an interesting subject. One thing that it seems to be is a form of causal determination, such as wearing the same shirt to every game since that was the shirt that you were wearing when your team won the big game.
This seems to relate back to bonding. It seems that when we were born, our mothers would kiss us and therefore, kissing brings back similar feelings.
OK - you got me. I have nothing to add to this one. LOL
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Being concerned at this, I asked the woman how the girls attended school up there without them and was informed that since they were foster children, they did not necessarily need all of those documents! WOW! Gotta love that shit, right? My question is this: how in the HELL did they attend the first school without that documentation? Fortunately, I was able to go ahead and get them enrolled in class and they were able to attend the first day of classes without any further issues.
On a completely related note, my mother is fucking amazing. I am having Dylan send her the money tomorrow and she is going to send me their birth certificates tomorrow. It is really awesome how she can come through for me like that.
With that, I am leaving you with a picture of the kids on their first day of school!
Friday, August 7, 2009
Saturday, August 1, 2009
This is the entrance to the gift shop that leads to the Ghost Town. While I was taking this picture, Isis called me a cow butt and told me to hurry up, LOL.
Lilith and Isis sitting in the back of one of the old gas tankers. I thought this was neat because it folds out into a little room on the back of the trailer so that the truckers could sleep, eat, rest, or whatever!
Taken in front of an old school house. Inside, on the left wall are letters from kids who have gotten to go check it out. On one of the desks, there is a dunce cap ^_^
Jerome was amazing. There is the Gold King Mine Ghost Town that we got to check out that was totally freaking cool. My dad is a retired fireman so I got several pictures of Lilith and Isis on three different types of old fire trucks and sent them to him. I figure that will get a smile or two out of him. ^_^ I also got some great pictures of the kids just messing around and in front of an old school house. Right now I am blogging this from work so I will post a link to the pictures later, when I get home.
After Jerome, we decided to have a picnic at Camp Verde. Unfortunately, there was not much to see there or do without forking over a lot of cash so we just chilled and enjoyed the cooler weather and the shade. (A rarity out here in the desert)
Almost 10 hours later, we finally reach home. I was completely worn out and exhausted but managed to stay awake for another hour or so before I decided it was nap time. Thankfully, the kids let me sleep for about 30 minutes or so which was not only much appreciated but also much needed!
Well, that is all for now. Like I said, I will post the pictures from yesterday online later tonight and will post a link to them so that anyone who is interested will be able to see them.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Here is a picture for all to enjoy. ^_^
Thursday, July 23, 2009
I am really excited about them finally coming back home. I have already found out what school that they will be going to and everything. Once I get the change of physical custody from CPS from the foster mother's home to mine, I will be able to enroll them in school!
That is all for this update, more to come later.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
OK - so I have rambled off my original reason for this post so let's get back on track.
I am on the phone with Granny on Wednesday afternoon, kids are at the neighbor's playing with friends. I am sitting in the computer room about to get off the phone with Granny.
I notice that I have some new email so I naturally switch over to that tab and see an email from my old therapist. Excitedly, I tell Granny that I have some good news. I open the email and it is welcoming me back to her caseload!
What does this mean, you might ask -
This means that once we get the opening meeting out of the way, the kids will be back home within 30 days! We are trying to meet on Monday in order to get the ball rolling on this so that they can move back in with me!
So, I am going to ask a HUGE favor from all of you,
Keep myself and my kids in your thoughts, please? Wish us a happy reunion and a return to normalcy.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
Looks like I am going to be making weekly trips up to Dewey/Prescott now in order to participate in their therapy sessions with them. I feel like we are making some progress with therapy as Lilith is more open to talking with me about how she is feeling and letting me know that she is ready to come back home. ^_^
That is all for now.
Monday, June 29, 2009
2) Earn my PhD in genetics
3) see my children grow into happy, healthy adults
4) Learn 2 foreign languages
5) Get my teeth taken care of and fixed
6) Visit Mexico
7) Visit a border town
8) Travel to Europe
9) Get my picture taken with Ronald McDonald
10) Stay up all night and watch the sunrise with someone I truly care about
11) Live on the East Coast for a year
12) Get at least two more tattoos
13) Buy a house in the middle of nowhere so that I have somewhere to escape to
14) Eat more veggies
15) Lose about 40 pounds
16) Take a cross country road trip
17) Visit the Grand Canyon
18) Visit the place where the meteor hit here in AZ
19) Learn how to code Linux
20) Wear a dress more often
21) Learn how to better code websites
22) Create a new website
23) See the poetry I have written get published in a book
More to come later as I decide to update this.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Why do I still let you hunt me so?
I have demonized to myself
So I can finally let you go.
I thought that I was over you
I guess I will never truly be
Deep down, in my heart of hearts
You still mean the world to me
While unpacking some more stuff today
I found something that you had given me
It reminded me of the good times we shared,
Of the way things used to be.
We spent nearly ten years together
We had our ups and downs
I remember how happy I was
To be coming back to this town
You gave it to me when I got off the bus
It was just a silly little thing
It brought back a flood of memories
Of just how well you knew me
Even as I sit here writing this
A year, we have been apart
It pains me to know
That you can still break my heart
I miss the times when things were good
And we got along so well.
When will I ever be over you?
Only time will tell.
I know in the end,
That I am better off now
Late at night, when I sit here alone,
I still think about you, even now.
I want this feeling to stop
I thought that I was finally over you
I think that I will never be
Anyone else's Sunbeam.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
It honestly seems like it has not been 10 years already. Thinking back to when she was first born, I am amazed at the fact that I have a 10 year old. When I got pregnant with her, I was always the one to say that I did not want children. Not just then but ever. It is really odd how things turn out. Lilith has turned out to be a beautiful and intelligent child. She can hold her own in conversation with not only other children but also adults and always has been able to. She also has an inquisitive mind and is curious about the world around her. She is constantly learning and I love the fact that she allows me to be involved with her on that level. If she does not understand something or wants to know more about it, then she is willing to come to me and ask me about it. If I do not know the answer then she makes me look it up so that we can both learn something new.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
* Human Genome
* Version 2.1
* (C) God
/* Revision history:
* 0000-00-01 00:00 1.0 Adam.
* 0000-00-02 10:00 1.1 Eve.
* 0000-00-03 02:11 1.2 Added penis code to male version. A bit
* messy –will require a rewrite later on to make it neater.
* 0017-03-12 03:14 1.3 Added extra sex drive to male.h; took code
* from elephant-dna.c
* 0145-10-03 16:33 1.4 Removed tail.
* 1115-00-31 17:20 1.5 Shortened forearms, expanded brain case.
* 2091-08-20 13:56 1.6 Opposable thumbs added to hand() routine.
* 2501-04-09 14:04 1.7 Minor cosmetic improvements — skin color
* made darker to match my own image.
* 2909-07-12 02:21 1.8 Dentition inadequate; added extra ‘wisdom’
* teeth Must remember to make mouth bigger to compensate.
* 4501-12-31 14:18 1.9 Increase average height.
* 5533-02-12 17:09 2.0 Added gay option, triggered by high
* population density, to try and slow the overpopulation problem.
* 6004-11-04 16:11 2.1 Made forefinger narrower to fit hole in
* centra of CD.
/* Standard definitions
#define SEX male
#define HEIGHT 1.84
#define MASS 68
#define RACE caucasian
/* Include inherited traits from parent DNA files.
* Files must be pre-processed with MENDEL program to provide proper
* inheritance features.
#warn(”Father unknown — guessing\n”)
/* Set up sex-specific functions and variables
/* Kludged code — I’ll re-design this lot and re-write it as a
* proper library sometime soon.
/* G_spot *g; Removed for debugging purposes */
/* Initialization bootstrap routine — called before DNA duplication.
* Allocates buffers and sets up protein file pointers
DNA *zygote_initialize(Sperm *, Ovum *);
/* MAIN INITIALIZATION CODE
* Returns structures containing pre-processed phenotypes for the
* organism to display at birth.
* Will be improved later to make output less ugly.
Characteristic *lookup_phenotype(Identifier *i);