Yesterday sucked major ass. Today was a little better but only because I went bonkers this morning on Dylan and got something off of my chest that has been bothering me for a few weeks. It really fucking sucks how one little off hand comment can throw me into a funk for this fucking long and I am too god damned embarrassed to discuss with my partner. I really hate it and beat myself up last night over the way that I have been feeling. Most people do not know this but I USED to be a cutter. I came very close to picking up the knife just too feel that release again last night that I am quite ashamed of myself for even thinking about doing it. Sometimes, I feel like a fucking freak of nature and just need to know that I am loved. If I am home by myself, like I was today, I can always count on Webster to come curl up with me. Today, he just irritated the fuck out of me
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